Solo "Happiness"

This is not a client's case study. This is a sharing of one of the many improvements I witnessed in myself. 
 
Lately, I have been attending some social gatherings, and also organizing some meetups and events, hosting more than 10 pax. All these happenings seem so new and refreshing to me. This inspired me to reflect and share this in writing. 

At a certain stage of my life around my late 20s, long-time friends might realize I seldom initiate to meetup, though I treasure their friendship greatly. Social activities would freak me out then, and I would frequent the loo several times before making my public appearance. Yet, no one would ever suspect I had this issue, because whenever I mixed around with others, I would always appear to be jovial, humorous and like to joke around.   

Yet for those who know me when I was a young child, they would beg to differ. Because when I was young, I was a very fun, sociable and loving child. I was the "gang leader" of a big group of faithful followers in my primary school. I never shy away from attention and stage performances.

Which is the real me? Can you guess? 

I was not born with the personality traits displayed in my late 20s. These were developed along the years into what is known as emotion layers (just like an onion, developing layer by layer). They are also known as "fake personalities".

The part of me that prefers a more solitary and privacy life, removed from the hustle and bustle of communal life is known as the Water Violet emotion state. A Water Violet person is very independent and self-reliant, and dislikes to impose on others. When in an imbalanced state, a Water Violet person would be closed up and have difficulty to mix with others, forming barrier and distance with others. A Water Violet person would also bear grief and sorrows in silence alone. 

The other part of me that feel awkward, nervous and shy in social activities is known as the Mimulus emotion state. In an imbalanced state, a Mimulus person would be avoiding crowds, gathering and social situations.

To hide these "anti-social" behaviours from the eyes of others, I had developed yet another emotion state of Agrimony. An Agrimony person, when in an imbalanced state, would pretend everything is alright and appear to be happy to others. Worries, fears or anxieties would also be hidden behind a mask of cheerfulness, natural good humour and brave face. Sounds contradicting for a shy person to be a joker too, right? This is possible. Any of the 38 emotion states could occur concurrently, forming an unique individual. 

During my journey of self-healing using Bach Flower Remedies last year, I took Water Violet, Mimulus and Agrimony with other appropriate remedies. I felt more balanced and blissful after some time, but I did not pay much attention to any improvement as I was busy with other parts of my life. 

Only now, I came to realize and witness the great improvements that had already subtly happened in me. I found myself inviting long-time friends to my house for gathering, first time in my life! I found myself organizing social events for people whom I never met before at my house! I found myself totally at ease when I attended a seminar today full of people with a new friend whom I have never met in person before. I found myself able to share my worries and past wounds with new online soulmates, instead of hiding them deep inside me. Such positive changes are often heard of for those who participated in NLP (Neuro-linguistic programming), coaching or inspirational programs. But I did none of these. I only added drops of Bach Flower Remedies into my drinking water everyday during my self-healing journey.

I have become a balanced Water Violet who is able to open up to others and enjoy their company, and putting my wisdom at the service of others; I have become a balanced Mimulus that has gentle courage to overcome nervousness; I have become a balanced Agrimony who is genuinely cheerful and humourous, and have emotional honesty to deal with problems instead of making light of them.  

I hope my sharing would inspire others not to give up on their self-improvement easily.